Purity, Family and the World

There was a reader who asked about following “purity” while living in a family setting and how “all actions of those who are worldly (lokik) rather than spiritual are wrong because at this time solutions are made using wrong means.”

It is important to see how those “black or white” understandings, those “all or nothing” viewpoints are not necessarily a match of what is happening in “real life.”

Dear reader, BE PURITY. That is it. The rest around you are just who they are. No labels to define them. No need for that. Actions are merely a reflection of our consciousness.

Laughing is an activity. Is it “good or bad”? It depends on your consciousness, which is in a setting a circumstance, a time, a place.

Please read the article “On Purity”

On “Purity”

In Spirituality, “purity” has the significance of harmony and balance. It is completeness of being. Wholesomeness.
Typically, the word “purity” has been used to refer to the practice of celibacy. However, as most religions and philosophies are mostly caught up in the physical aspects of being, as the beginning point on self-realization; then this is the common assumption.

Nevertheless, celibacy is one aspect of purity. It refers to the physical aspect, on how to channel our sexual energy to be integrated in our spiritual development. This does not mean rejection or sublimation but once again, integration. However, the achievement of this integration means, “partial purity” only. There is more to purity.

The second aspect is related with our mind and the relationship of thoughts and emotions expressing through it. A person who is practicing celibacy but represses himself/herself will not be in a healthy state of mind. His/Her emotions and thoughts will be scattered and divided between his sense of “duty” of following a celibate practice and his “desire,” to express sexuality as any “normal” human being. This inner fight is not consistent with purity.

Although, the beginning of this path has the experience of inner fight, a spiritual being, needs to understand and be integrated with that which started as a rejection.

Therefore, the practice of celibacy out of compulsion does not mean “purity,” but it means partial purity if in fact, there is no repression in the practice of celibacy. Otherwise, it could be named as a “mental case,” if repression is there under the veil of fear. That fear could take many faces: Fear of failing, fear of not being “good enough,” fear of sinning, fear of God, fear of not getting heaven, fear of his own self.

That is why, once the very important step of following celibacy is taken, a deep observation of our mind is essential. To be able to find complexes in ourselves, to be able to find “hang ups,” to be able to find conceptual ideas and how much rejection to our own self (things which we did not achieve in life or our own perception of the self which came from our past without the reference of spiritual knowledge) and rejection for others is lingering in our psyche and being covered under the name of “spirituality.”

Achieving mental clarity then, is another level of “partial purity.” That clarity may be expressed through the exercise of our own wisdom, that is to live life free of fear.
Finally, there is that purity which brings together the mind and the physical being; that is the heart. Those are the feelings.

We cannot pretend to have “pure feelings” when our mind is scattered.
We cannot pretend to have pure feelings, when we are repressing and rejecting ourselves at any level.
We need to be congruent in every aspect, when we are building our spiritual path.

The heart brings that harmony between the physical pole and the mental pole. When we have achieved that completeness, then we can speak about purity that is complete, “full” purity and not a fragmented belief of it.

It is in that harmonious living, when there is no longer struggle due to being pulled into different directions (mind, heart, physical body) that is fragmented; but there is unity, a harmonious single direction.

That is the meaning of being wholesome. Thus purity is wholesomeness. Our “normal” fragmented personality is no longer there.

Purity is way more than celibacy alone. Celibacy alone does not mean “purity.” Take care of your mind, take care of your feelings, those are very important in following purity.

One of the things that we found in this blog is that actions by itself do not have a “moral” value. It is our state of CONSCIOUSNESS, what dictates the consequence of our activities.

The above is very important to realize by experience, because everyone is in a different situation.

Let us say that you have a husband and 3 small children. Your husband is a decent man and he is used to being intimate with you. There are no issues in your marriage; but you understood that “celibacy” is your next step in your spiritual life.

What would you “do”? Would you leave everyone? That has a consequence. Leaving everyone is not necessarily the answer. Circumstance, setting, place, time…No “black or white” answer.

Your husband may change, but you cannot count on that. Your consciousness is what will make a difference.
BE purity. Be that loving being who is beyond the physical, offer yourself to life and love your husband without resentment in your heart. If you have this “test” in life, it means that you have the capacity to go through it. Work on that purity of feelings and purity of the mind. That is plenty. To be truthful, many practicing celibacy lack purity of mind and feelings. That wholesomeness is lacking.

Please do not allow “black and white” concepts to dictate your life. God is not reflecting “black or white” understandings for there are many situations in life (reality) where we need to observe and BE that which we are looking for without the support of the ones surrounding us.
That takes a special soul. That takes one with greater capacity to adapt and to accept things according to the situation without forgetting your spiritual objective in life.

Life changes all the time. To be trapped in concepts and understandings of “what should be,” is to put yourself in the road of suffering, repression and a peace-less mind.

Obstacles in life are like tall Ocean waves. If you feel that swimming underneath the wave is not “royal,” or “good,” then try walking straight through the Ocean and you will experience where your “concepts” take you. That is how many people have been hurt in life due to being trapped in concepts without looking at life. The Ocean changes. Today is a high tide with tall waves, tomorrow it is not. If you maintain your “black or white” concept with you no matter what, then you are approaching life without being sensible to those changes. Part of wisdom is to adapt according to situations.

Purity is not related with rituals or religious practices. It is a state of consciousness. Know “purity” in yourself, in your mind and your heart so your actions will reflect that purity.

Situations will change. That is life. When we “push” for things when the world is not ready yet, we will only damage things. To learn to wait and consider others is also part of purity.

The above is written for those whose life is experienced in unusual situations and are searching to make their lives “pure,” that is wholesome.

Many religions have the dogmatic idea that everyone has to fit in their “cookie cutter” ways. That only shows lack of understanding about “variety of people.”
It is true that a religious path has the aim for the most part, of reforming a human being’s state of consciousness, by giving the option of a more virtuous way of living; however, those are options not “laws.” Everyone will fit into those options in a “numberwise” manner. There are not 2 alike.

At the end, it is the individual with his own consciousness alone. No one knows his own story better than himself.
A wholesome human being , has the wisdom to conduct their own life without being dependent on anyone. Nevertheless, this is also accomplished in a “number wise” way.

A good father is there to take care of the child while he grows up, knowing that his child will become an adult to take care of himself one day. At that moment. he still will be his child but not a child anymore. That is the paradox of life.

Our consciousness will dictate if we are children or adults. There is a time for everything. This is true in spiritual knowledge as well.