Saturday 7 June 2014

New Jokes Part 5


New Jokes Part 5


Children Are Quick and Always Speak Their Minds
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TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America .
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Maria.
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TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using the tables.
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TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
(I Love this child)
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TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
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TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
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TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
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TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ' I. '
MILLIE: I is...
TEACHER: No, Millie...... always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet'
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TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand......
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TEACHER: Now, Simon , tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
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TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's.. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No sir, It's the same dog.
(I want to adopt this kid!!!)
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TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher
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Muslim ladki exam mein Hindu ladke se: "Excuse me , Bhai Jaan.."
Ladka: "Ek to paper confusing hai  aur upar se tu aur confuse kar rahi hai ...
.. Ya to Bhai bol ya Jaan bol " 
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 ROCKING GENERATION...
"KID FAILS IN EXAM"
Father: Aaj Se Mujhe Papa Mat Kehna...!
Son: Oh, come On Dad,
It Was Just A 'School Test'
Not A "DNA" Test...!
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Tchr : Murgiyo ki taange chhoti kyu hoti hai ?
Sardar ka Asardaar reply : Sir, agar murgiyo ki taange Lambi hoti to Ande itne upar se gir kar toot jate na.

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Teacher- Chand par pehla kadam kisne rakha?
Pappu-NEIL ARMSTRONG.
Teacher- Aur doosra ?
Pappu- doosra bhi usi ne rakha hoga ..... Langdi khelne thodi gaya tha woh!!!!
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-Laughter time-
-Doctor : Roz 5km walk karo, to 1 sal me 50kg wajan kum ho jayega..
1 saal baad santa phone pe:
Wajan to kam ho gaya,
magar saale ghar kaise jau 1825km door aa gaya hu
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Santa aur Banta 8th mein aathvi Baar Fail Ho gaye
Santa: Chal Suicide kar le
Banta: Saale, Pagal Ho Gaya Hai ??
Agle janam Fir NURSERY se shuru karna padega
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Santa: shirt ke liye ek acha kapda dikhaiye.
Sales man: plain main dikhau.
Santa: Nahin helicopter main dikha
saale bandar ki aulad… Yahin pey dikha!!
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Doctor: Do exercise daily for
good health.
Santa: Sir i play football, cricket, daily.
Doctor: how long do you play?
Santa: until d battery in my mobile goes down!!
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Techer- pani me rahne vale 5 jiv batao.?
Student- mendak
Tech- very good, baki char bolo. .
Student- uski maa ,
uska baap ,
uski behan  aur
uska bhai ..
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Santa's Son was filling an application form.
Son: papa, mother tongue kya likhu?
Santa: Likh de, very long and uncontrollable..

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