Self-absorption

Anand typically walks in the morning by the Bay: The new day is fully alive; it is a delight to smell freshness all around: all sorts of birds arrive for “early breakfast,” and the Sun shines its warmth equally among every living being.

Anand realized in that walk, that the clearer his mind is from thoughts about himself, greater enjoyment will be experienced.

Anand also experienced, that whatever the heart desires, the mind will make it happen…. Even if it is not “real.” It is all about those thoughts shaping the reality to fulfill unconscious wishes.

Playing with those thoughts about the reality of “me,” is called self-absorption.

When we reach that stage of consciousness, we see life only in relationship with our perceived “Me.”
If “I” have a problem, nothing going on outside will matter unless that which “I” see outside “myself,” helps “me.”

For example, if someone “falls in love,” and there is no correspondence as she wishes to happen; the ego will be hurt. That pain will be expressed through continuous thoughts about the same thing, for something has to be done to change that. Even though, life changes as we move in time, the thoughts from the past and future will be there hunting that person down, until “something” happens which is interpreted as “beneficial.” Then a “new story” is built by the mind.

Someone in that state of being cannot appreciate anything. That self –absorption does not allow for life to continue on, but it stops in the wall of the “Me.” For most, that is a very strong wall.

“I am hurt, thus the world does not matter.”

That is extreme self-absorption.

Anand was smiling at the runners by the Bay, saying “hello” to them. But, a “hello” back to him seldom happened.

Most of them weren’t “real runners,” for running, as running in itself wasn’t enjoyed. It was about losing weight, getting a “workout,” etc. Anything but enjoying that running, enjoying that activity of moving one foot in front of the other through a graceful jump… all by itself.

 You could see it in their faces. All hooked up to their devices, phones, radios, etc. To be in another reality until the “workout is over.”

In self absorption, the beauty of Nature is of no consequence when all it matters is to “lose weight” and “ to look good” as if there was a “judge” waiting to judge the “results.”

In self-absorption, enjoyment is an unknown long lasting experience. It is all about results, all about “getting there and make it happen.” Never mind the “process.”

When someone is self absorbed, to “do “ and to “have” are important as long as they enhance the sense of “me.”

My family is important as an extension of me.
My car is important as a perceived status of me.
My body is important as an image of me.
Exercise is important as a tool to reshape me.
God is important, as long as He helps me.
Meditation is important to feel good about me.

My thoughts about “me” will not allow “me” to appreciate “Me.”

In that state of consciousness, it is very difficult to experience oneness, for “Me” only sees separation.

When the capacity for enjoyment of life is gone; when feeling gratitude for being awake everyday is gone; when all there is in life is to “take care of me,” through the “same old thing,” when the only joy remaining is to “purchase” new things or to taste “new things,” at that point there is a need to change, for that self absorption will literally kill you.

That “me” is truly your worst nightmare. Wake up to save yourself…